Overexpressed

I toss my last red rubber ring. It pops and sputters on and over three or four glass bottle tops. Then lands. Right around the lip. Securely and surely. I jump into the air. “I win!” I scream. “I win!”

And as you can see, I won big! Ava (long a) the Avocado (short a)–as she is affectionately called–now sits on the chaise lounge in my bedroom and greets me every morning with her tiny smile. She’s at least 3 ft. tall and probably weighs about 12 pounds.

She’s beautiful. A celebration of joy and soft green avocado fur. A celebration of my love of the avocado and its velvety goodness. She is quite literally a W–win!

But not all Ws arrive in such cute packages. Sometimes you have to search for the W, or even transform an L (loss) into a W (win). Dance choreographer and teacher, Antoinette Coward Gilmore, says when life gets hard, (which it does), “You have to celebrate the Wins.”

But as we all know, this is easier said than done, avoiding toxic positivity.

When Roseanne Liberti, metastatic ovarian cancer survivor, was first told by Antoinette Coward Gilmore to “Celebrate the Ws,” Liberti said, “I’m not proud to admit my first response was one of anger. At that moment, my feet felt like all the bones were broken and the pain seared. I felt angry because I celebrated the win of walking at a year old and didn’t think I’d have to work this hard on this particular gross motor skill a second time.”

Yet after some time, Liberti realized, “I have been going to class (AfroHouse Dance) for 17 months; Win. I have hair now; Win. I have more balance and strength; Win. I keep showing up for myself; Win. I’m still alive; Win.”

Sometimes a win may look like this:

And sometimes it may look like this:

Either way, I think it’s important to keep perspective. Feel all the feels. Cry. Shout. Scream. Then maybe–after some time–invite yourself to dance. Laugh. Twirl. Soak in the beauty of what’s right in front of you. Practice gratitude. Celebrate the Ws.

---

Here’s a W: OVERexpressed & OUT, a new podcast hosted by me and Roseanne Liberti. Take a listen.